Catch my heart, oh please, don't drop it
by oaksoup
Summary: Detectives and Thieves were fated to be natural enemies, or that's what it should've been from a moral standpoint. But those rules don't apply when the Detective and Thief professions had certain conditions to their jobs. Detective/Thief AU, think on the Karamatsu Thief that appears on Hesokuri Wars!


"Nice view, huh?"

"Uh… huh? W-what are—"

-o-o-o-o-

Their story began on the roof of the famous Akatsuka City Museum, a place made by a popular and very rich Francophile family who lived in that city by generations, and was known not only because the beautiful art, wonderful gem display and the pure whiteness if its Iyametal-only construction, but also because it looked pretty much like a Louvre copy.

The Iyametal had a nice glow at the shine of the Moon, making it seem as if it glowed all Full Moon nights. Those days were chosen for public exposition of their most acclaimed valuables, and those days also called for the fanciful Thieves to send their cards and try to get the treasure.

This time was no different, but both weren't your ordinary Detective and Thief, too.

-o-o-o-o-

"Who are you, Detective? I- My plans had… not calculated your presence" –The Thief said, caught up tinkering his machinery balloons that would let him fly off into the night.

The Thief, a pompous man with an eye patch who made big efforts to stand out in the Phantom Thief business as "The White Crow", even though all his clothes and artifacts did not go out the shades of blue and black, was guilty of stealing several pieces of art from the very same museum and some other smaller places, the most important of them being "Decisions of Fragility", a sorrowful piece made by famous artist HataB, "The Spotless Orb", a gem as transparent as glass and as spotless as it claimed to be, valued in billions of yen. And now, "The Sinful Tear", a grandiose sea blue gem that sparkled like light sprouted from its insides. It was big enough to fill the thief's hand, and it looked like the dude had taken it near himself as he saw the Detective at his side to protect it.

The Detective – he must have been one, judging by that tacky old brownish Sherlock Holmes attire and ah… a towel with red hearts covering his intimates – that being something he decided to not comment on, had a strangely dumb look on his face. A happy smile and very round eyes, that was not the face of his natural enemy, for example, the faces Inspectors Choromatsu and Todomatsu mustered with his Thief name on their lips. "Oh, I'm surprised you haven't heard of me, but dun worry! I'm on my break right now"

What.

What did that mean…? He was almost ready with his Grand Escape, and then an unknown threat appeared in his secret place to tell him to not mind him, he was just a detective on a break, like it was lunch time and not Time for Action!

"Hmph, my Cursed Eye always tells me to not believe on the Word of Justice, when Lady Justice is at my side" – The man in a glimmerous top hat phrased, mixing English and Japanese in a way that instead of sounding fluid ended up being awkward. "Reveal yourself, my fated enemy, for our Destiny calls for our names to be known! I am The Karasu of the Night, The White Crow! Not fearing the lights, never hiding from anyone, that's the meaning of my name" – he ended the soliloquy, proud of himself.

The guy – his round eyes told him he was at least five years younger than him - hid his mouth on his white gloved hands, hiding his laughter like he was going to explode. "Ohhh god, that's so –uuuhhhh!"

"Are you alright!?"

"I believe I broke my spleen…!"

Worried, the man in black and blue thought his words seriously. "I'm… I can't bring you a doctor, I'm so—"

The detective felt like he was going to explode in laughter. "PFF—No, don't worry, don't worry! I'm better now" – He said, while calming his breath. And the White Crow forced himself to believe in the other man's words, even when he was still able to see the burgundy on his face and his trembling shoulders. "Ok, ok… I'm Matsuno Osomatsu, the Calming Detective! I'm not just a normal detective, and right now I'm just taking a break so don't worry!" – To follow those words, he proceeded to take a sandwich from who knows where and then sit on the Iyametal floor, chomping into the bread with gusto, something that left the gentlethief perplexed.

"Uhh…" – He squeaked, with a hint of his real voice, something he promptly coughed loudly into oblivion, to again get his manly voice from his insides. "I'm sorry to tell you this, but I'm unable to believe in the words of my other side of the coin" – He side while closing this eyes and posing as artistically as possible, as his motto "Always be as dramatic as the art you steal" said. "Matsuno Osomatsu, you seem like a very astute individual, calling yourself not your usual brand of detective we Phantom Thieves know and learn to fear, and being as bold as to feign being harmless, but no! I won't fall in your trap! I'm just too intelligent for tha—HOW DID YOU GET SO CLOSE TO ME!?"

It was true, Calming Detective Osomatsu was at his side, right hand on the other's shoulder and very, very close.

"How many floors do you think this museum has? I'm sure I wouldn't recognize Inspector Choromatsu if he came out from the first floor, it's so high!" – He was promptly shoved to the side, as the White Crow was growing warier of the situation. He at least had the stone and his balloons, he could feel the precious gem in his hand and the machinery at his other side so he could just go away and c'est la vie!

But…

"Detective Osomatsu, I'll give you a chance"

"Oh?"

"I want to see what makes you a Calming Detective, so that way I can name you as my rival, what do you say?"

The younger man hummed, brown eyes twinkling in thought.

"Hmmm… I'm here because someone got assassinated in the first room, not for you though"

That was kind of big news! "EH? Seriously!?"

"Yeah, but I can show you a little dose of what I do!"

What happened next can be described on acts.

Act 1: Osomatsu jumping over the thief, giving the gentlethief the biggest – and probably the most dangerous hug he has received on his life.

Act 2: While trying to get his composure and trying to not fall on the balloon inflation machinery, the White Crow dropped the contents of his hands, the stolen jewel included.

Act 3: Osomatsu pointing him that fact, the Crow could see the shiny blue sparkles falling down to the floor.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

...

...

After some minutes crying over the fall of his precious failure, he got up from the floor, not even caring on when the other man got up from his side. He could only look at his face, rage on his eyes and soon, a gun on his hand too.

"Why did you do that, you…!"

"I didn't"

The Thief screamed in what only could've been described as a guttural growl, to then point the handgun at the detective's forehead.

"No, believe me! Look at my left hand!"

The guy then put his arms on the air, making the towel fall off and also making a familiar blue sparkle salute the thief.

"What—How!? How that can be possible!?" – The White Crow exclaimed, still not putting out the gun, but his hands shook as if he desired to drop it.

There was no doubt, it was The Sinful Tear.

And, more surprising than all, the Gentlethief had to admit that after the sight of his beloved gem, he had grown utterly relaxed.

"I don't like to explain my tricks but eh, the friend in your hand begets me to do it, so…"

-o-o-o-o-

One would think the magic trick – there was no other way to explain it, would have begun with the awkward hug Osomatsu gave to the thief, but it wasn't the case. It all had begun with the other man's long speech over who he was and what he wanted. Fooling a bit, he decided to check on the Thief trousers, finding shiny underwear. So painful! And when he cut them out, the guy didn't notice a thing! Seriously, Osomatsu thought, the man could begin a speech with all the detectives watching him and when he finished, he would've been in jail and already dressed on the penitentiary clothes. So, listening his requests, he planned a drop from the start, exchanging the Tear with a piece of Iyametal he found near him when he was eating his sandwich, and so, when he dropped himself over him,put the shiny mankini – oh god – on the rock, so when it fell off the Iyametal shine could reflect some visible sparkles when falling down.

-o-o-o-o-

"So, what do you think? Are you calmer now?" – The Calming Detective grinned, a cheeky smile that warmed the other's heart and made his dick explode.

Oh. There was no way to stop his little brother's outburst, truly. Getting fooled like that, the cheeky smile, the sight of the other's cock.

It was just impossible.

"Hello, you still there?"

Before he was able to reply back, sounds coming from floors down them woke them up.

"Faster, the Thief must be around here!"

"How brave Detective Osomatsu must be, coming out to catch him too…!"

Immediately the Thief made haste, grabbing his equipment and sending himself to the sky. The detective could only look, not really wanting to get involved with the Phantom Thief business, until he remembered what he had on his hand.

"Hey, White Pigeon! You forgot this!" – He screamed, signaling the hand that had the precious jewel, which sparkled with the lights of the moon.

The White Crow laughed "No no no, my Fated Rival, the jewel now is yours! But remember my name as I'll remember yours, Matsuno Osomatsu, I'm the White Crow!" And so, with a shower of blue roses, calling cards and some deliberate rubs to his cock thinking on all the possible next times they would possibly see each other again, he was gone from sight.

-o-o-o-o-

"God, what a painful guy, huh?" – Said Osomatsu out loud, and that was all for the day for him.

And later, when he received a resounding No over his desires of getting the jewel for himself, he reconfirmed his desires to not be related to anything that had to do with Phantom Thieves.

Well, at least, Osomatsu got a hug from Inspector Choro so that day was not a complete lose.

* * *

I always got this idea on my mind but only now I was able to write it. Now, its bullshit, its stupid. Its also a drabble, and not beta-read. But I hope you like it! I wanna expand it, someday maybe.

Pls tell me if you liked it, comment me just here!


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